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When you are in the family way….

We have often heard how becoming a parent is one of the, if not the most joyous moment of life. No denying it. But, are you really ready for one?

There are many online articles which advise if you are ready based on the financial aspects. There is more to it. And the following list of self pondering questions is from my point of view…a new mother who has had a super duper career outside home for more than 5 years.

1. Who is going to be your physical support during the last few months of pregnancy and early months of your baby? Are both of you comfortable with this support system?

2. When do you plan to rejoin work, health permitting? Have you discussed it with your partner? Are you two in synch? And one of you is not going to get the shivers mid way and change mind about it?

3. When you rejoin work, is a creche an option for you? Or is there going to be support at home? Are you both comfortable with the option? Have you really discussed this and are not taking things for granted?

4. The few months you are going to be at home, what is your destress plan? You need a break from your baby for atleast an hour everyday, for both your good and the baby’s good. Maids can only be trusted to a certain extent. Is your partner going to give you that support?

5. However big your employer is on equal opportunity, your career will suffer a momentary set back. Can you live with it or tide over it?

We worry more about the mundane questions like who will change the diapers, or make the bottles. But overlook the larger picture. Bringing up a baby is not one parent’s business alone. It should not be the case where one parent does all the hard work and the other just enjoys the good moments with the baby. This may have been acceptable to many in the past, but when you have tasted a little independence in life, however important the baby is to you, you are likely to get frustrated if you are to spend a year or two or more of the rest of your life just tending to the baby.

Todays fathers are great that have our mothers wondering how unlucky they were in their times. More than calling it luck, I would say lack of such support from the fathers will only leave a crack in the relationship in today’s times.

The traditionalists will argue that babies will happen when they are to happen, and you must be blessed to have one irrespective of all other things in life. According to them, a baby makes all such questions irrelevant. Who am i to argue?

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2 Responses

  1. RADHESHYAM says:

    Hey Swetha,
    Many congratulations on the new addition to your family !!!! Do convey our best wishes to your hubby as well 🙂

    best regards,
    Radhe Shyam & family.

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