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The House and the Husband

The Mister will be back in a couple of days from his months long office trip. The house is pristine clean as of now, need to dirty it a little, lest he gets the impression that I am a super efficient house keeper. OR wait a minute..should I leave it the way it is, for him to realize who messes up things in the house. Dilemma…so let it remain.

What do i do next?…

Attack his cupboard. Didnt I throw that lavender based floral printed shirt away in the attic last time so that I can use it to clean a window someday? (Who else would take it, poor window can’t complain) How did it make its way back here? Bell bottoms? Corduroys that look like prison wear?Dirty towels? Those ones with the holes! That kurta he refuses to discard coz mommy dearest bought it for him. But wait a minute..I cant find a single pair of socks to throw out. Did all of them walk away on their own? Oh..look for them under the light, says Mulla.

I walk to the shoe rack. 4 pairs of shoes, given away to cobwebs than to cobblers. 6 pairs of socks in them. 4 is to 6? I dont know how..ask Him. I use a pair of tweezers to take them to the trash can.

Next his vanity case. Where is that, you ask me? Check the myriad holders in the bathrooms. Except for a sole toothbrush and a half a tube of toothpaste that belongs to me, it is stuffed with chocolate wrappers (?? ), razor/soap covers, after- shaves that have been used on napkin holders than on rugged cheeks, half full shampoo bottles – all of the same brand. I proceed to pour all the shampoo into one single bottle (thats why I am the wife) ,scrub it clean on the outside, and keep it within easy reach so that he thinks he’s got a new one to use now. I have never seen so many moisturisers in all my adult life, and promptly go about emptying them on myself everywhere but the face.

Next on the list is the bags that Mister used to carry to work. 7 pencils, 1 sharpener, 4 pen caps, folded bits of sticky notes,2 keys rusted at the ends, used chews wrapped in paper (i disinfected and sanitized my hands at this point) is the loot. And oh, papers with doodles on them that led me to discover his secret talent which probably surfaces only during boring meetings.

I collect all the discards in a bag, but before I could proceed to throw them all away, wonder if I should quickly peep into my cupboards. Nah, there is noone around to wake me up with a plop of a soda if I can’t take the stress. Besides, I am not the one who abandoned home for an office jaunt.

Filed under: fiction

2 Responses

  1. Shail says:

    Enjoyed reading this one! 🙂

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