General Nonsense

There are some people who can write absolute nonsense, day after day. But at the same time, this nonsense also sets you thinking, and leaves you amazed at the power of articulation this writer posesses.

One such writer I have admired is Scott Adams of the Dilbert fame. I was a fan of his daily strips long before his blog came into existence. Now, I am beginning to feel that his blog was the reason for many of the comic strips. He would have written a paragraph of nonsense, and then the idea in the nonsense crystallized into a doodle, which was later enhanced, or copy pasted by some great animation software.

There is one other Indian blogger who comes close to this. I am talking about krishashok. (http:// krishashok.wordpress.com) I am not yet elevating him to the status of Scott Adams, but how can somebody think up of so much delightful nonsense day in day out.

Most of time, these people are talking about everyday things. It is just the tangent at which they are thinking which makes you wonder that this alternative line of thought has a more constructive use than the original intended use.

Archie marries Veronica

There is news everywhere that Archie pops the question to Veronica (at Tate’s ??) instead of the goody gal Betty. There has been a huge outcry in the fan community about this. Are we all jumping the gun?

I would never like to see Archie comics end. Marrying Veronica will do precisely this …put an end to the delightful snobbery and romance here. So has the author a twist in store for us?

1.Like Veronica says no..being the haughty richie rich she can well afford to.
2.Like Archie pops the question and then in his characteristic manner does quite the opposite..of marrying Betty
3.Like Moose murdering Archie when he is made a pawn by Ronnie’s dad and converting the comic into a murder mystery, coz noone will suspect Moose of such cruelty
4.Like Veronica rejecting Archie and confessing that it was Reggie all along.

I can see Archie running behind Nancy Woods already. Please don’t call for Pack up as yet.

I tag myself

One major grouse I have in the blogging world is that nobody sends me meaningful tags. So the first time I came across one in someone else’s blog, I decided to do it for fun. Here I go.

1) What author do you own the most books by?
PG Wodehouse

2) What book do you own the most copies of?
None…if I happen to get 2 copies of the same book, I make sure I gift it away or exchange it in the book shop from where it was bought (of course, I try this option first before I gift it away)

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
Yes..I was wondering why.

4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
He Man (Nothing to do with books though)

5) What book have you read the most times in your life?
St.Clare’s twins and Malory towers and Malgudi days and Shakespeare’s hamlet and comedy of errors and merchant of venice, and robinson crusoe and treasure island and many such more…

6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
The faraway tree by Enid Blyton

7) What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year?
The last song of dusk.

What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?
Almost Single by Advaita Kala

9) If you could force everyone to read one book, what would it be?
The diary of a young girl by Anne Frank

10) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for literature?
I don’t seem to like most of the books that have won any of these big Prizes..Booker et al..so no wishlist

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
Almost Single

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
The hungry tide by Amitava Ghosh

13) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
Mills and Boons..and their heroes and villains..and waifs..and…

14) What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?
IIM Ganjdundwara (or something like that)

15) What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy…it was painful, but I wanted to finish reading it, and I did.

16) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
Shakespeare…coz Milton is all about romance or pity, while Chaucer seems too happy all the time

17) Austen or Eliot?
AUSTEN

18) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Tamil literature…the language has produced some of the memorable epics, and I have not read even one completely.

19) What is your favorite novel?
Kane and Abel

20) Play?
My Fair Lady

21) Short story?
Saki

22) Work of non-fiction?
Biographies (Or are they fiction, coz many of them are bestsellers and are about succesful people!!)

23) Who is your favorite writer?
RK Narayan

The Palace of Illusions by Chitra Divakaruni Banerjee

Quite some time since I came across such a splendid book. It is based on the same old Mahabharatha plot, but what makes it interesting is that it is through the eyes of Panchali. The ease with which the author moves from one plot to another in the epic, at the same time keeping the main character and the reader in synch is mind blowing. The ecstatic, curious, selfish, joyful, thoughtful, devil may care, devoted, philandering Draupadi is all brought out adeptly through various incidents. As much as the story narrated takes a negative tone against the protagonist, I could not help sympathize with her, and appreciate what she did when she did it. The end was so fitting, that I do not know whether all this generous praise should go to Vyasa who originally wrote the epic or this new age author who has effortlessly brought it out. The book is unputdownable until you have reached the last page, and cross checked the facts stated in the book on wikepedia or the elders in the house. Chitra has come out winners yet again. (i.e. after the mistress of spices)

Penny wise and Pound foolish

I was bored at office. So I thought I shall spend some time at the mall nearby, for say, an hour and then return to work. I did not want to spend ten rupees on an auto to reach the mall, just to spend time there aimlessly. So I called my husband who was already on his way home from work and had to cross my office and the mall on the way home. He was nice enough to pick me up from right outside my office gates, and drop me at the mall before he headed home. I walked around the shops for a while. Picked up articles I never needed anyways, checked their prices, and put them back carefully. Then walked into the groceries supermarket. Spotted yoghurt, fresh bread here. Remembered that I had run out of cooking oil. Punjabi chole tomorrow would be nice. Have not watched an old Tamil movie in a while, and this one is indeed a worthy collection. Returned to office on time.

I know what you are thinking…

I was bored at office.
(So is the rest of the world, whats new)

So I thought I shall spend some time at the mall nearby, for say, an hour and then return to work.
(We are smart enough to not put this down in a public place, but we do it all the time too)

I did not want to spend ten rupees on an auto to reach the mall, just to spend time there aimlessly.
(Noble thought)

So I called my husband who was already on his way home from work and had to cross my office and the mall on the way home.
(Yeah…brilliant..you do not have to justify that he did not have to change routes to be of some use to you )

He was nice enough to pick me up from right outside my office gates, and drop me at the mall before he headed home.
(Sometimes this tribe is nice too, and these sometimes are rare..so pen them down and preserve for posterity)

I walked around the shops for a while.
(Nothing works like retail therapy for us)

Picked up articles I never needed anyways, checked their prices, and put them back carefully.
(We are experts at window shopping)

Then walked into the groceries supermarket.
(The mall surely sucks, if you ended up walking inside a supermarket in less than an hour of your time there)

Spotted yoghurt, fresh bread here.
(Everyday necessities, good of you to remember to pick them up while here. Besides, you have to justify the auto fare back)

Remembered that I had run out of cooking oil.
(Even better)

Punjabi chole tomorrow would be nice.
(Gastronomic eccentricity)

Have not watched an old Tamil movie in a while, and this one is indeed a worthy collection.
(Refrain from asking how much and why you actually spent here. But was this your only indulgence? Suspect there was something more, else it won’t deserve a blog post)

Returned to office on time.
(Atta girl)

A hundred to a Zero

Would it not be nice to live life in reverse? Imagine instead of being born, you started off from the dead. It would be nice to wake up positively from the dead, and be an oldie, maybe on crutches, with no teeth, yet salivating for the best foods on earth. And then as each day progresses, you get younger, your limbs get stronger, crutches discarded, and you enjoy a fat pension post retirement phase. Move ahead to the first day at work ( actually the last day)..people celebrate your joining, you actually know many of them, they welcome you with a gift and maybe flowers. Commit more mistakes at work as you grow in experience backwards, and younger by age. (Okay, I hate the salary growing lesser part here). Exit the work life phase, enter college, live youth. Progress to school and kindergarten, kick friends around, laugh over an ice cream, chase bubbles and butterflies. Become a toddler, enjoy everybody’s attention (And this time you actually experience it), drool on them, make a mess of yours and their clothes. Retire into momma’s womb. Degenerate into an egg. And get passed out.

Wonderful.

Edited to Add on 30 Apr 09:
I swear I had not seen Benjamin Button, and was surprised to see all the controversy about a new Amitabh Bacchan movie being inspired by this one. And no, I had not heard about the Bacchchan movie either until I read it in the papers after I had written about this post.

Okay..I am not a genius.

Ganapatipule

When we went: Mar 09
From :Mumbai
By : Road
Drive time : About 7 hrs including breakfast stops
To do : Stay at MTDC, have a snacks/breakfast break at Kamat on the way, Chill at the clean beaches
Don’t believe : White sands on the beach

Ganapatipule was a place on my mind since I first heard about it in Jun 07. Every attempt I made to go to the place was thwarted at the last minute. The well-known MTDC resort never being available in the weekend was the spoiler most of the times. This time around, I decided to go for a booking as early as three months before the stay. Well…at least the countdown seemed as long as the travel to this place.

I am going to leave out the details as to how to get there, as routes and distances are really not my strengths. I could be lost right in front of my house on a cloudy day.

We set out early in the morning….crossed several tolls, and each time we shelled out to pay for the toll tickets, we crossed our fingers and sent up a silent prayer that the resort and the place better be good. It was close to lunchtime, and the milestones on the road kept ticking down. But even at 3 km away from Ganapatipule, there was no sign of the famous white sands and the beach.

Little did we know what awaited us. MTDC resort was not very difficult to locate…and bang behind and the resort stretched the vast blue sea and clean sands for miles and miles. It was too good to be true, and being the pessimists we are, we pre concluded that the resort rooms would be ugly, damp, stinking, and dirty. But it was a day of pleasant surprises…it was not only clean and had a beautiful sea facing balcony for which a Hyatt could charge half a ten grand even in the remotest of places, the attendants did not grudge when we requested for a first floor room instead of a ground floor one.

The room was reasonably clean, though for the more finickier of us, I would advise carrying your own bed sheet and towels.

The seas were beckoning, but it was lunchtime and the convenience of the hotel inside, with chillers as well, was difficult to resist. This was the only sore point of our stay there, as post this one dining experience we never ate there for the rest of the three days. The less said the better. If you must have food here, never order a lime juice..it is some essence dunked in discarded tender coconut water….or something that tasted close to this description. You get the drift….

The beaches, just a stone’s throw away was one of the cleanest I have seen in recent times. Nice family crowds, unlittered, friendly waves, and miles and miles of shore line.

There is also a small temple of Swayambhu Ganesha here, from which the place gets its name. Nothing of note here, except that it is a nice small town temple right by the beach. So even if you are not religiously inclined, you can just hop in and hop out of the place.

The rest of our stay there, we spent wandering around the beaches (no shacks like Goa here though), driving to take a look at Krishnali resorts (only because the rates they quoted were so high were we curious to see the place). Quality food is available all around the place.

We started back to Mumbai on the third day, and even when we crossed Vashi and Chembur at 4.00pm that evening it seemed like it was such a relaxing holiday.

The Police brush

It was a big white canvas.

Not a spot of guilt.

The first encounter was within their borders.

Documentation and I was in order.

But they dipped their brush in a pot of grease.

Wanted it coloured gold.

Cause the pages had a little crease.

Painted it with a silver speck.

So that it won’t show on the white deck.

:

:

:

Still, the canvas was now jaundiced.

:

:

:

But they say the cure could only be more plush,

Not just a stroke of the paint brush.

Greed overcame the Lord of this prey.

I tore my canvas and walked away.

Not a spot of guilt (on them)
Not a spot of guilt.(on ahem)

The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga

I read this book some time ago, though it has been topping the reviewers list for a longer some time.It begins nicely, with the language in which it is written almost like that of a driver from a small town..the simplicity of the language adequately portrays the complexity of thoughts. However, there is no real story here. The Chinese connection seems a little too trite. The turn of events seem to be dealt with very simply,without much ado, that it makes it a little unbelievable. But I must admit I kept turning the pages in a feverish pace. Good one time read. It also gives a newbie some confidence to go and attempt writing a book!

Of what use is an engineering degree in electrical sciences if you did not know that you have to put the plug in the socket for an electrical appliance to work?

I am not going to write here about this very obvious oversight on the part of a haughty engineer I know. This post is about more complicated things.

With half the family of the above mentioned engineer in la-la land, it was high time a web cam was bought and monkey faces sent over the high seas, like Hanuman’s lanka trips. So are web cams sold by any Spider branded companies? Wish they were. .I digress.

After what seemed like Vanavasa, a web cam was bought for a little less than a grand, and positioned as delicately as stacking eggs in the fridge, over the monitor of the desktop computer.

Before this, it was debated, for a good half hour, how good is a soundless movie to one’s kith and kin, especially with a face that does not hold the interest of even the neighbourhood dog.The microphone had completely slipped the engineer’s mind and it was not bought. You ought to overlook that, for the engineer is not a sound engineer but an electrical sciences engineer.

Then, it was noticed a tail hung from near the USB connector of the web cam, and it fitted well into the microphone socket of the computer. Whoa..this definitely ought to be capable of carrying a few decibels of sound atleast. (see see..the engineer knows all about decibels and is not a fake one)

Having got this far, the rest was easy or so the engineer thought. Plug the cable into the USB port, and wait for the lights to flicker on, and surprisingly not, the engineer sees a hazy but the famous silhouette of self. (Yeah yeah..the engineer knows all about putting in the disc, and installing drivers for the computer to recognize the new hardware as a web cam) With a pat on the back, the lens focus is adjusted to reveal a more interesting portrait of self. Grinnn.

Skype was then inaugurated in the house with as much fanfare, as the superstar’s Friday release. Mustard spluttering et al. (Cooking in the kitchen simultaneously pa) to remove evil eye.

Then came the test…ENGINEER..ARE YOU TRUE BLOODED?

The microphone carried the voice through perfectly over the web messanger. Alas, if only it was a more melodious voice, the world on the other side would have been content.

Show us your face, they demanded.

The haughty engineer shyed away at first..no, its ok, it is late in the night..it is dark here…were the pleas.

Out you come, they cried hoarse.

But how????

The camera was showing off the perfect face to self, but refused to transmit over the web as though it did not want to inflict the same on others.

Off and on the web cam, camera test, works fine.

No transmission on the web.

Plug it out and plug it in, camera test, works fine.

No transmission on the web.

Plug out the microphone, camera test, works fine.

No transmission on the web.

After several hours of the Indian standard time, and Greenwich mean time having elapsed, the bulb flickered. In the mind of the engineer, silly. (FYI, the camera lights were flickering alright)

One mighty pull and push of the USB wire into the slot again, skype on, no camera test.

EUREKA…it went through.

The famous face was splashed across the globe, making it more famous. (Loud applause like in Oscar’s)

The problem was that the web cam did not know how to function in two places, 1) over the local machine and 2) the internet. Was this the engineer’s fault?

Everyone else thinks so.

You tell me.